Disrupting Your Autopilot: The Key to Functioning Well in Systems
Have you ever found yourself reacting in the same way, over and over again, despite your best intentions to change? That’s because a huge part of our daily lives—some research suggests up to 80%—is driven by autopilot. Our patterned behaviors, formed over years or even decades, shape how we show up in systems, whether at work, in leadership, or in relationships. And if we want real, lasting change, we must learn to disrupt that autopilot.
Why Autopilot Runs the Show
We often assume that we make decisions in the moment based on logic and intent. But in reality, our responses are deeply influenced by ingrained habits, family upbringing, and basic instincts. These automatic patterns influence not only what we do but also what we avoid, how we speak (or don’t speak), and how we react to others in systems.
Think about a work setting: Someone makes an assertive comment, and you immediately withdraw or become defensive. That reaction isn’t necessarily a conscious choice—it’s an autopilot response based on past experiences. And because systems (workplaces, families, organizations) function in predictable ways, our automatic behaviors get reinforced repeatedly.
The Challenge of Change
Many people desire change but struggle because they focus on intentions rather than disrupting patterns. Change isn’t just about wanting to do things differently—it requires interrupting habitual behaviors and replacing them with new, intentional actions. This disruption is challenging because our autopilot was formed for a reason—it once worked. But when we reach a point where it no longer serves us well, we need to consciously intervene.
Looking in the Rearview Mirror: Learning from the Past
Imagine driving a car. As you move forward, you occasionally glance in the rearview mirror—not to dwell on where you’ve been, but to gain perspective on how far you’ve come and to navigate the road ahead more effectively. In the same way, disrupting autopilot isn’t just about looking forward; it also requires looking back to understand what has shaped your behaviors and how those patterns have changed over time.
Reflection helps us recognize past disruptions—moments when we successfully broke out of old habits—and apply those lessons to current challenges. Just as a driver adjusts based on what they see behind them, we can adjust our actions based on insights from our past, ensuring we make more intentional choices moving forward.
How to Disrupt Your Autopilot and Show Up Differently
If we want to function more effectively in systems—whether in leadership, relationships, or personal growth—we need practical strategies to break out of autopilot. Here are five essential practices to help disrupt ingrained behaviors and make meaningful change:
1. Identify the Behavior You Want to Change
The first step is clarity. Often, we recognize that something isn’t working but struggle to pinpoint the specific behavior that needs to change. Instead of vaguely saying, “I need to communicate better,” define the exact shift: “Next time I disagree with my colleague, I will express my perspective instead of shutting down.” Make it specific, measurable, and describable.
2. Get Present to the Impact
It’s one thing to know a behavior exists; it’s another to fully understand its impact. Ask yourself:
How does this pattern affect my well-being?
How does it shape my relationships?
How does it influence the system I’m part of?
Often, we avoid this step because it’s uncomfortable. Acknowledging that your autopilot behavior is not benefitting you or others takes a lot of emotional energy and intentionality. It is not easy, but it is worth it.
3. Give Your Word to Change
Good intentions aren’t enough. Real change happens when you commit—to yourself and to a few trusted people—that you will take action. Giving your word means more than just setting a goal; it’s making a promise. Start with a small, manageable step. For example, rather than saying, “I will stop over-functioning in every relationship,” begin with, “I will delegate one task this week without stepping in to fix it.”
4. Reflect and Adjust
Change isn’t linear. There will be moments when you revert to old patterns. That’s why reflection is crucial. Take time—daily or weekly—to ask yourself:
Where did I show up differently?
Where did I fall back into autopilot?
What triggered me?
What can I do differently next time?
Many people skip this step because life is ‘full’ with our work and our relationships. But without reflection, we miss the opportunity to course-correct and learn from our experiences.
5. Honor Your Word
When you break a commitment to change, it’s easy to feel discouraged. But instead of giving up, honor your word by acknowledging the lapse and recommitting. This isn’t about shame; it’s about accountability. If you didn’t follow through, ask yourself:
Did I make the goal too big?
Did I avoid discomfort?
What is the next small step I can take?
Sustainable change isn’t about dramatic transformations overnight. It’s about making the 1-5% changes that add up over time. It’s about consistently showing up in new ways, even when it feels unnatural. Over time, with persistence, those intentional behaviors will become the new default.
The Role of Supervision in Disrupting Autopilot
Supervision provides an essential framework for interrupting autopilot behaviors. Through structured guidance, supervision offers:
External Perspective: A supervisor can help identify unconscious patterns and provide objective feedback that challenges ingrained behaviors.
Accountability: Regular check-ins create a commitment to change and encourage consistent reflection and adjustment.
Emotional Processing: Change can trigger discomfort. A supervisory relationship allows individuals to process emotional responses and navigate resistance.
Skill Development: Supervision can equip individuals with alternative strategies and tools to respond more effectively within their systems.
By incorporating supervision, individuals gain structured support to make intentional changes rather than defaulting to old habits.
The Invitation to Change
If you want to function more effectively in your systems—whether in leadership, family, or personal growth—you have to disrupt your autopilot. Change isn’t about willpower or good intentions alone. It’s about seeing your patterns, understanding their impact, committing to change, reflecting on progress, and continuously adjusting.
So take a moment today. Observe where your autopilot is holding you back. Then, take the first step to disrupt it. Because lasting transformation starts with a single, intentional choice.
